Monday, 12 July 2010

Aromantic until further notice

Firstly- no, I have not posted for the last month or so.
Secondly- I doubt I will post again before my three-week internet holiday starting next week.
Two reasons: Firstly, because I decided this blog simply has to take last priority in my life. If I can't keep it last priority, I can't keep it at all.
Secondly, because I tend to write when an idea pops into my head, I mull over it for a day or so, and then set it all down. This all relies on ideas. At the moment, I have little about asexuality. My head has been buzzing about the practicalities of aromance, but not really in bloggable form, and not that much. A lot of awesome real-life stuff is happening. And now is where I sort of want them to connect. I've been over 2 years asexual and now I want my pay-off. I want to take all the theories and graphs and deeper understandings and cash in in meat-space.

I'm having to deal with the loss of social circles. At this time of year, I'm stopping seeing my friends and acquaintances (worse- friends I never made) from college, I'm reminded of this time last year when I went through the same about school. And my very best friends ever are back from university, and we're having to re-negotiate our closest relationships. At the same time, I have more circles blossoming. Two activities I've been doing for years have, for various reasons partly to do with my new independence and partly through random luck, started blossoming in various ways into something more approaching social circles. And then there's university this autumn. Whatever happens there.

And something about me is changing, and I think it's the aromantic in me. I'm getting stronger. More world-wise, more determined. I have ways of looking at friendships now that I never had before.

This year, which, you notice, has been the main year of my blogging, was all about change, independence that had been fought off too long, growing more comfortable in my skills, my place in the world. And I've transformed, slowly, and asexuality has helped me. Asexy posts like these have been the final straws.

I'm declaring myself aromantic polyamorous. No relationships, and many. I like the contradictions, but I like the lifestyle better. I like the focus I can have on creating satisfying, meaningful relationships. I like the fact that my relationships can just be what they are. And I like the fact that, with this idea in my head, this map of what the future can be like, I can start to develop the tools to make it that way.

Also, I like the fact that, after a year of transformation, this blog (and my sexuality) finally has relevance to my real world! Which means my real world, what happens to me day to day, has relevance to this blog! Which means reams of easy materal! Harrumble!

(more will follow on the actual technique of living aromance. Once I've figured it out, mostly)


  1. Hey dude... good to hear that awesome real life stuff is happening, that's always nice. And transforming head-knowledge into heart-knowledge is great too, so good on you.

    I hope you're gonna leave the blog up - it's a good read, and there really aren't a lot of resources around. I'd like to add a link from my own blog to yours, if I may? I have friends from across the LGBTQI(etc) spectrum, some of whom may like to read what you've got here :)

  2. Thanks. I'm definately keeping the blog up. Posting will just possibly become even less regular than usual.

    I'd be honoured if you'd link to me.

  3. So far I'm pan asexual aromantic poly relationship anarchist looking for multiple committed passionate friendships. I think I'll just keep adding adjectives as I learn them and maybe eventually it will be accurate.